Understanding Grief As A Core Issue of Adoption

Grief is a quiet, complex emotion that flows through the adoption journey, touching everyone involved—children who have been adopted, adoptive parents, and birth parents. At Families Forever, a program of NCHS, we understand the deep impact of grief and are here to shine a light on these hidden feelings. Our overarching goal is to offer support and practical ways to help everyone in the adoption constellation manage and heal from these emotional hurdles. The following blog is an overview of our recent guide, How the Core Issue of Grief Impacts the Entire Adoption Constellation, where we take a close look at grief - the fifth of the seven core issues of adoption. Keep reading to get a sneak peek into what we include in the guide.

Prioritizing People-First Language In Adoption

In adoption, using people-first language is essential. Instead of solely using the term 'adoptee,' we also refer to them as 'individuals/people who have been adopted.' This language choice emphasizes their personhood and avoids unintentional dehumanization.

By being mindful of this language, we promote respect and inclusivity. Adoption is a significant part of their story, but it does not define them entirely. They are individuals with their own unique experiences, dreams, and identities beyond their adoption status.

Need guidance on handling grief in adoption? Our latest blog offers practical advice for adoptive families, birth parents, and children who have been adopted. Learn more:

Understanding the Layers of Grief in Adoption

For Children Who Have Been Adopted

From a very young age, children who have been adopted might wrestle with feelings of loss or wonder about where they come from. These feelings are often complicated by the expectation that they should always feel lucky or grateful for their circumstances. Adoptive families must create a space where kids can talk about their feelings openly and honestly without feeling judged.

For Adoptive Parents

Adoptive parents may grapple with their own form of grief, perhaps stemming from struggles with infertility or mixed emotions about their child’s connection to their birth family. Understanding and talking about these feelings helps parents fully embrace the beautiful family dynamic that adoption brings.

For Birth Parents

The grief felt by birth parents is profound, involving not just the loss of being with their child every day but also missing out on the daily joys of parenting. Societal expectations often magnify this grief to move on quickly, highlighting the need for ongoing support that respects their long-term emotional journey.

Addressing grief can be challenging in the adoption journey. NCHS’s blog shares effective ways to support each member of the adoption constellation through their grief. Click to read more:

Embracing Grief Together In the Adoption Constellation

For Children Who Have Been Adopted

Creating a warm, emotionally receptive home is so important. This environment can help encourage kids to share their feelings openly and without worry. Having a counselor to talk to and building connections with their birth parents or family can make a big difference in how they handle their emotions.

BONUS CONTENT: Post-Adoption Support for People Who Are Struggling

For Adoptive Parents

Joining support groups to connect with other families who have adopted and genuinely understanding the emotional rollercoaster that can come with adoption is critical to navigating life’s hurdles. These resources help adoptive parents manage their own feelings, face unique challenges, and create a loving environment at home.

BONUS CONTENT: Finding Adoption Resources and Support | NCHS

For Birth Parents

Having a support network is valuable for all members of the adoption constellation, but especially so for birth parents. These groups are a safe place to talk and share experiences that might otherwise stay bottled up. Activities like making a memory box or receiving professional counseling can also help during the healing process.

BONUS CONTENT: Post-Adoption Support For Birth Mothers

Some Reminders

• Every Grief Journey is Unique: Remember, everyone experiences grief differently, and that’s perfectly okay.
• Grief May Be Hidden: It's easy to overlook the grief that comes with adoption, especially because it doesn't always show in ways we expect.
• Cultural Sensitivity is Key: It’s important to approach the grief associated with adoption with an understanding of diverse cultural perspectives.
• Support is Crucial: Tackling grief is a team effort. It requires community support, professional guidance, and a good dose of self-care.

If you or someone you know is navigating the emotional paths of adoption, please remember you’re not alone. Reach out to us at NCHS for resources and support designed to assist families and individuals through every part of the adoption experience.

Together, we can explore the nuances of adoption, discover healing avenues, and create a brighter, more connected future for every member of the adoption constellation.

Download our guide, How the Core Issue of Grief Impacts the Entire Adoption Constellation, for even more information about this core issue of adoption.