--- title: Deepen Your Relationship With Your Adopted Child | NCHS description: Discover 4 ways you can deepen your relationship with your adopted child and build out a strong foundation for your family with support from NCHS. image: https://blog.nchs.org/hubfs/pexels-ron-lach-9873934.png --- [Donate](https://nchs.org/donate/) - - - - - [402.451.0787](tel:402.451.0787) [402.451.0787](tel:402.451.0787) - [130th Anniversary](https://nchs.org/130-years-nchs-celebration/) - [Calendar](https://nchs.org/events/) - [Careers](https://nchs.org/careers/) - [Get Involved](https://nchs.org/get-involved/) [Donate](https://nchs.org/donate/) [![Finalized-NCHS-Full-Color](https://blog.nchs.org/hubfs/Finalized-NCHS-Full-Color.svg)](https://nchs.org/) - [Family Support](https://nchs.org/family-support/) - Column 1 - [Pregnancy Services Offering resources, support, & guidance as you determine the best course of action for you & your family.](https://nchs.org/pregnancy-services/) - [Top Pregnancy Questions](https://nchs.org/pregnancy-services/top-questions/) - 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As with every important relationship, it’s a process, meaning it will take time, attention, and care to blossom. Adopted parents often feel that the relationship they have with their children isn't developing as quickly or as strongly as they’d like. It’s important to remember that each child is unique, and to become a genuinely tight-knit family, it will take patience and practice. Below are 4 tips for parents wondering how they can deepen their relationship with their adopted children. [Check out these 4 tips for parents looking to deepen their relationship with their #adopted child. See what you can do to start building the foundation for a strong family dynamic:](https://ctt.ac/n0T8f)[Click To Tweet](https://ctt.ac/n0T8f” %20target=) ## 1. Be Open With Your Communication Healthy communication is at the root of every strong interpersonal relationship.  As an adult, you already have well-established communication styles and, depending on the age of your child, he or she may already have developed some of their own habits.  These communication styles, which we often do not even notice, may not mesh well and lead to frustration in the home.  Whatever ingrained habits you each bring to the table, your parent-child relationship will not get far without learning to speak each other’s language. To have good communication, you need to start by making time to communicate. Though life gets busy and it can be easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks, prioritize time for one-on-one communication. Make sure your child understands that he or she has your undivided attention and can speak about whatever topics, large or small, they have on their mind.  Use that one-on-one communication time to model and practice healthy communication practices. Share your frustrations, hopes, dreams, and uncertainties in a developmentally appropriate way so your child can see that your relationship is built on acceptance. Simply being physically present during a conversation is not enough.  You need to be mentally and emotionally available as well. Be an active listener as your child speaks. Show that you value them and their thoughts by giving them your undivided attention. Give them the time to share whatever is on their mind while resisting the temptation to jump in with your own opinions or feedback.  Even a young child will appreciate having this space to explore their thoughts freely. Active listening helps establish a strong sense of trust and empathy, which will be important as your child grows older and faces more complex challenges. ## 2. Capitalize On Bonding Opportunities Adoptive parents need to [act as the stable rock](https://www.babycenter.com/baby/special-situations/12-ways-to-form-a-healthy-attachment-with-your-adopted-child_1374194) in an adopted child’s life. After such a significant shift in their lives, fear or worry is a natural and normal reaction. Be sure that you are present as they work through their thoughts and feelings, and provide a shoulder for them to lean on or talk to about how they’re handling the process. Additionally, you and your adopted child need to spend time with one another so you can deepen your relationship. Take time each week to do something fun with one another, whether that’s catching the latest movie, making ice cream sundaes, or walking through the park together. Try to carve out time to create meaningful memories and be sure you’re engaging in activities your child is interested in. One thing some adoptive families do to create a stronger tie is set times for you to sit down and eat dinner together as a family. These times when you can take a break from the stress of work, school, and other responsibilities and just spend time as a family can help you to develop a deeper bond. While family dinner might not be a possibility every night, it is important to carve out time each week to connect with your loved ones. ## 3. Create A Routine Together [Children crave routine and structure](https://totsfamily.com/4-ways-to-build-a-strong-relationship-with-your-adopted-child/#Be_Communicative_with_Your_Child) in their lives. For adopted children, this is especially true, as routine gives them the feeling of control over their lives and works to help them build trust in you. Creating a routine for your family can help your adopted child adjust more efficiently. Work together to build out the structure so that your child feels included in the process. Some ideas of routines you can create are: One important thing is to create these routines and stick to them. Do you walk your child to school? Make it a habit to do this every morning. Does your child like to be read a bedtime story? Read one each night to establish a sense of normalcy. The repetition of routine gives your child’s life a sense of predictability, which can be comforting to a child who may have felt a great deal of unpredictability before joining your family. ## 4. Don’t Take Rejection Personally Often when a child is brought into a new home, they can experience feelings of worries, frustrations, or nervousness. These complicated feelings look different from child to child but can often manifest as “acting out”, reluctance to open up, emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or rejecting affection. [Start creating a deep and meaningful relationship with your #adopted child:](https://ctt.ac/5I7w4)[Click To Tweet](https://ctt.ac/5I7w4” %20target=) As a parent, you need to remember that this is not them expressing their dislike for you. Adoption is a complex situation, and it will take time and patience to help your child and family process this new change. Be patient with your kids as they adjust to the new family dynamic. Don’t pressure your child to act or react a certain way when it relates to expressing love and affection. The best you can do is ensure you are emotionally available and supportive of your child. Things will eventually fall into place. It just takes time and patience. The best advice that we can give you is not to compare the progression of your relationship to that of other adoptive families. Take a deep breath. Treat yourself with kindness. And, remember that it takes time and patience to develop into a loving and caring family. The important thing is that you are there and invested in establishing a healthy, lifelong relationship. Are you looking for resources or other advice for adoptive families? NCHS is here to help! Our Families Forever program connects families formed through adoption with community resources, one-on-one support, and connections to mental health services to ensure your family thrives. [To learn more about our Families Forever program](https://nchs.org/families-forever/) or work on deepening your family relationships, reach out to our team today. [![Empower your child with a unique lifebook tailored just for them image](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/20974565/interactive-157127224933.png)](https://blog.nchs.org/hs/cta/wi/redirect?encryptedPayload=AVxigLIZ5dnUg3zYXmILkzIY2gjI5ULGmB74g7OXJ5joJVTRdEuESrxh5Clsb0uCDVCrBYtI6XccM1f6Vi0EOKNQ9CX9mcKd0zzF3yZiNCFeU8Wt2KwbRKOpkTPlk0mT2AyJNsR4Jou%2B3TGeC5W0q1u5Q1nQa8wUMqnJnFQeDDDJI5w%2B2kKzhayQVEZRONpYNLEl40Bk8hr%2BMvRSLYDa&webInteractiveContentId=157127224933&portalId=20974565) [![NCHS Team](https://blog.nchs.org/hubfs/NCHS-Team-Author-IMG.png)](https://blog.nchs.org/author/nchs-team) [NCHS Team](https://blog.nchs.org/author/nchs-team) The NCHS team is committed to helping children, parents, grandparents, and families create a safe and loving home. To the NCHS Team, children always come first. By providing support to families and parents, NCHS works to ensure children have access to the care, love, and development opportunities they need to be successful adults. ## Related Blogs September 25, 2024 ##### How The Core Issue of Connection Impacts the Adoption Constellation Building meaningful connections is at the core of every successful adoption journey. Adoption is... Read More + September 5, 2024 ##### The Role of Mentors in Providing Support for Adoption & Guardianship Families Families2Families, a program within the Families Forever initiative at NCHS, aims to provide the... Read More + August 29, 2024 ##### Am I Ready for a Baby? Deciding to welcome a new life into your world is one of the most significant decisions you'll ever... 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